On Tantrums.

Ok, so I have been losing sleep. Which sucks coz I love my sleep! Why am I losing sleep? After a lot of denial, I admitted it to myself. I’m hurt. There, I said it. Finally.

Of course, I am expected to be a good Christian and be the bigger person. Forgive and forget. Easy to do when you’re not the one hurt. “Don’t let it get to you”, I’ve been advised. Apparently, I’m way too cool to be stressed. Stunners on and hella cool swag is all it takes to shake it off. From other quarters, I’ve been advised to not think about it and it’ll go away on it’s own. Oh and of course there are the wet sleeping bags that insist I’m being dramatic and should stop throwing tantrums. I’ve made real attempts but none of this is working! So I’m going to do what I should have done from the get go!

1. Cry. Scratch that. Bawl. Weep. Roll on the floor!
2. Hit something. Punch a pillow till my knuckles are sore.
3. Break something. I was thinking a glass. I’ll buy one. No, three for the occasion.
4. Burn something. All those poems I wrote. Erm no. Let me give this one more thought.
5. Sing really bad karaoke.
6. Binge. Ice-cream, cake, crisps. The works!
7. Listen to sad, sad (bordering on pathetic) music.
8. Write a blend of downright mean and morbid poetry.

I wish I could get to number 10. Ten things to do when grieving. Has a nice ring to it. Hmmm and possibly book sales. People love a good ten things self-help book.

Don’t judge me. On second thought, you can if you want to. For the first time, I actually don’t care. For once I’m going to accept reality. I’m going to allow myself the space and time to grieve. It’s my right. And I do owe it to myself. If you need some crying time, don’t wait to be given permission. Go ahead. You’ll be the better for it. Promise.

PS:Kleenex should start paying me… The amount of business I’ve given them this week!