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It’s wedding season and pretty much everyone is getting married. At least that’s what Facebook is saying anyway. It can be a lot of pressure what with all the white dresses and holiday that promises to be satisfying, marriage seems pretty awesome. As I have come to learn through lots of advice from my married friends, there’s a big difference between a wedding and a marriage. A marriage is a lot of work and shouldn’t be rushed into. Here are some reasons you definitely shouldn’t use to get into a marriage.

1. To get a promotion: This sadly, actually happens and is mostly a reason used by men. Our society is very much a patriarchal one and a man with a wife and kids is considered more senior (no matter his age) to an unmarried man. Quite a number of men have admitted they married to climb the corporate ladder.

2. To get away from parents:This one is usually a reason used by women. Basically they’re sick and tired of living at home and feel they need a change. They don’t see themselves living alone so they push to get married to escape their parents’ house.

3. To get away from financial strain:This is mostly a reason used by ladies but it’s 2014 and there are men who are also guilty of this, especially when involved with older women. The marriage is seen as an escape from financial troubles and the ‘poor’ party jumps in wholeheartedly feeling they’ve found a saviour.

4. To have children: This can be a reason for both men and women. Usually, the parties are getting on in age and want to have kids as soon as possible and due to their beliefs or societal pressure, would like to have the children within a marriage setting. Hence why you’ll find a man in his 50s getting married to a 23 year old and having kids with her faster than you can say, ”Baby”.

5. To ease boredom/escape stagnation in life: Gender is a non-issue on this one. People prone to depression may do this thinking it will solve the way they feel about their lives at the moment. It doesn’t.

6. Because everyone is doing it: Basically everyone is married. All your friends and siblings. Even that cousin who you all thought would never get married is married and you feel like an outcast. So you marry the first person that doesn’t come off as repulsive to you.

I clearly am no expert. However, from interactions with various friends and relatives, I have learned a few things. Marriage is a commitment. Love is a commitment.  It’s not only just about love, but also mutual respect and support. If you don’t see yourself growing old with that person, don’t do it. Even if everyone else is.

If you are already married and realize that you got into it for the wrong reasons, it’s not too late to try and salvage your marriage. Enlist the help of friends and family as well as a marriage counsellor. Marriage counselling does not necessarily mean that your relationship is doomed, but that you care enough to get some professional support to help you build a healthy relationship.

mwendeMwende saysRelationshipsfacebook,finance,loneliness,marriage,marriage counselling,weddings
Image Credits It's wedding season and pretty much everyone is getting married. At least that's what Facebook is saying anyway. It can be a lot of pressure what with all the white dresses and holiday that promises to be satisfying, marriage seems pretty awesome. As I have come to learn...