Taking Stock: Birthday Gratitude and Lessons

I’ve had one interesting year filled with big changes that left me feeling both exhilirated and terrified. I think I reached the point in my life where I just did not want to place myself last anymore and I really wanted to take the reins and unapologetically build the life I wanted for myself. I’m not big on lists on lessons I’ve learned but I feel this is the best way to communicate that. Also, I am so grateful to be celebrating another birthday and for continuing to learn and grow and exude #MwendeMagic

Here goes:

1.  Your life is yours and you have to take control and responsibility for it. If you’re going to sit back in life and just go with the flow, you’re going to get increasingly frustrated. You have to decide what kind of life you want and create that life for yourself. You have to own your wins as well as your failures and stop apportioning blame for your decisions. It’s your life and no one elses so own it.
2. Don’t believe the hype. Social media will you have you believing that everyone is living a great life and you’re lagging behind. Don’t fall for it. You’re doing well and have to stay focused to achieve your goals. A lot of the people you see flaunting on social media are either rich kids or live a sponsored lifestyle. Most people begin to bloom in their late 30s and 40s or even later, so don’t lose sleep over not being able to pop bottles or travel the world; it’s all a manufactured reality.
3. Chase money yes, but the most important thing is working on yourself. There’s nothing worse than being middle-aged but your emotional and psychological growth is stunted at 20. Too many people focus on amassing wealth but forget to work on themselves and end being dysfunctional adults who cannot connect with people and so end up buying people’s company and feeling terribly alone.
4. Invest in people. Friendships are important. Take the time to create healthy friendships and invest the time to nurture them. Friends will support you and encourage you at your lowest moments. Lose the ones that are only present during the good times and disappear when things get tough.
5. Save. Open a savings account, join a saving group, save for retirement. Realistically speaking, most of us will not hit it big and can only live comfortable lives if we are smart spenders and savers.
6. Keep educating yourself. Education isn’t just going to school and sitting in a class. Read books, have conversations with people who are not in your usual circles, learn a new skill. This will keep you open to new ideas and keep you teachable.
7. Take care of yourself. Sleep enough – your body has its limits. Eat healthy meals, keep an active lifestyle, slow down on the alcohol and other drugs, drink water, wear your sunscreen and have a skin and hair routine. Honestly, considering we’re living longer than ever before, your 70-year-old self will thank you.
8. Love yourself. I mean really love yourself. Take the time to be silent and get to know yourself. Tell yourself positive things on the daily. Compliment yourself and spend time doing things you enjoy by yourself. Take yourself out to a nice dinner, travel alone, go to the movies alone.  Why wait for someone to do nice things for you? Appreciate yourself and do it for yourself.
9. Get your life together. Other than saving, keep track of your finances. Know how much you are spending every month. Get yourself healthcare. Pay your taxes and have a plan on paying any other debts.
10. Allow yourself to love and be loved. It’s difficult. There are some hurt people who will hurt you. You will hurt people. Still, don’t close yourself off and grow cold. Love is what makes us human. Forgive yourself and stay open. It’s not the fantasy you were sold and it takes work and must be intentional, but if you find love, cherish it. And if it leaves, still cherish it because you still had it and that’s enough.