When people claim that a woman is insecure, most who’ll hear about it will jump on to that boat without finding out the details. I used to be first in line to get on board but after a couple of years of my own experiences, I’ve become more objective.  There are women who have issues they need to deal with, but these are the minority. When a woman that is normally not insecure suddenly becomes insecure, there is more to the story than is being told.

‘The cool girlfriend’ gospel being preached is pure hogwash and detrimental to relationships. ‘The cool girlfriend’ is supposed to put up with things that other women wouldn’t. She’ll be cool with her man flirting with other women and even discuss gerrable women for him. She’s basically one of the boys. None of this is a problem if the woman in question is actually being sincere. However, a lot of the ones I know are faking it. There’s a bunch of women out there that are unhappy and uncomfortable in their relationships but are putting up a front in a bid to not appear like a nag or bossy or simply, uncool.  Is that even sane?

There is a certain level of compromise that is crucial for a healthy relationship. If he likes football and you hate it but spend afternoons watching it with him, that’s just supporting your man and trying to share his interests. He does the same thing when he endures shopping trips or waiting for you at the salon. There is also the growing in love that causes a woman to turn a blind eye to her man’s quirks. In fact, at some point those quirks become super hot. The way he slurps when eating soup or his weird laugh eventually become endearing.

Rules in a relationship are necessary if it’s to survive. These rules must be discussed and agreed upon by the two parties involved. There really are some things that would make any woman uncomfortable and she should be able to speak her mind without being made to feel like her feelings are invalid. I don’t know about other women, but I have some boundaries that I don’t compromise on. Flirting, women that aren’t relatives sleeping over and anything that basically if I did he’d come over and punch the guy that I was with, is a clear no.

cheating

Men generally like to push boundaries. I suppose they want to see how far they can go and what they can get away with.  Games are for the undecided. Honestly, if a man cares about a woman, he should go out of his way to not to do things that are obvious bones of contention. This is true especially if he would have a major problem with her doing the same things.

Ladies, put your foot down. You’ll be well respected for it. Be honest with yourself and with your man. Claiming to be okay with him constantly hanging out with his ex while you’re tormented at night thinking about whether he’s up to no good, is not healthy. Get out with it and tell him to stop seeing her. If he’s serious about you, he’ll respect your feelings. Personally, I don’t care for the ‘cool girlfriend’ title. I prefer sanity over ‘coolness’, don’t you?

 

mwendeMwende saysinfidelity,insecurity,Men,relationships,women
When people claim that a woman is insecure, most who’ll hear about it will jump on to that boat without finding out the details. I used to be first in line to get on board but after a couple of years of my own experiences, I’ve become more objective. ...