Losing weightThe lady that sells me bras on River road calls me ‘sweetie’, but so does the lady that tries to sell me bleaching cream. She says that I’d look prettier three shades lighter. I would never admit to it but that hurts my feelings and I feel compelled to stop and talk to her. Usually, I walk right past her and her ilk but not after such a comment. I ask her if it’s bleaching cream but she insists it’s not. Apparently, it’s for clearing the spots on my face and making my skin more even. Of course it is. I almost buy it but snap out of my low self-esteem moment and mumble that I’ll pass by another day I’m a bit pressed for money.

‘Mama bras’ is becoming too expensive. I know I’ve gained a bit of weight and consequently a cup size, but this is ridiculous. She sells bras that are C cup and below for 350 bob and minimum 700 bob for anything above that. My DDs fetch a glorious 1000 bob a bra. I buy two. My boobs don’t have the time to haggle. They’re growing too fast to wait around for a lower price. I get out of there swearing under my breath I will never come back. I might as well start going to boutiques to buy my bras at this rate. I need to find a new place. One that doesn’t discriminate against women with big breasts. Or as my friend says, ‘a bountiful bosom’.

How did I go from a size eight to a twelve? Although I have this awful unsettling feeling that it’s more of fourteen. But curvy is in. There is a booty craze from Hollywood to Kenyan twitter. I fit the bill. Now if only I could get through the squats and abs month challenge… When did staying fit become so difficult? Even the workouts have difficult names. Why would anyone want to do a workout called ‘insanity’? I’m trying to lose weight, not my damn mind!

My friend says that I should try the 13 day challenge. Day 1: Black coffee with no sugar for breakfast, two hard boiled eggs and spinach for lunch and steak with lemon dressing for dinner. It sounds manageable. I think I’ll try it out from tomorrow. Oh wait, I have a couple of events coming up and there’s no way I’m going to manage this diet with temptress cupcakes staring at me. I suppose I could just play hard to get and stick to drinking wine. Oh wait, the diet expressly says no alcohol. Oh boy! I’ll start a week from now. Oh wait, there’s that bloggers’ thing next week. Hmmmmm this is going to be a problem…

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The lady that sells me bras on River road calls me ‘sweetie’, but so does the lady that tries to sell me bleaching cream. She says that I’d look prettier three shades lighter. I would never admit to it but that hurts my feelings and I feel compelled to...