5 Things Not To Say to a Single Woman Who’s Moving Out of Home

It’s 2015 but a lot of people seem to have missed the memo. We talk about women empowerment and the strive for equality but in practice we’re a long way from this. A lot of people will be all for it when we’re discussing harmful practices like FGM and child marriage but frown on the idea of women making decisions that don’t fit societal expectations such as choosing not to marry or have children. Another thing that seems to still raise eyebrows is the idea of a single woman living on her own.

I fall under this category and I have to say the amount of times I have rolled my eyes or raised my eyebrows to the point I thought they’d disappear into my hairline is more times than I care to remember. Anyway, the questions are so ridiculous especially when you consider the fact that a man would never be asked these questions. It feeds into the social conditioning that a woman’s highest aspiration is marriage and so all her dreams, plans and decisions must fit into this.

Here are 5 things not to say to a single woman that is looking to move out of her parents’ home.

1. Isn’t it just better to wait for him to propose, you get married moving out?

The assumption here is that it’s a waste of money for a single woman to live alone, even if it’s for a few months. It gets even more insulting when people question if the relationship is serious since there would be no need to move if it was.

2. Whose going to stay at home with your parents?

This is mostly if you’re a last born daughter, only daughter in the family or an only child that’s a girl. The point is that you shouldn’t move because your parents will be left lonely and honestly, you have no reason to move coz you’re not getting married.

3. Why do you want to move? Isn’t that a waste of money?

The underlying point here being that women shouldn’t move unless they have a compelling reason. That they should defend their decision which involves money they have earned before they can peacefully live their lives.

4. If you want to cohabit with a man, just have him marry you first.

Another assumption. That the woman has a man somewhere she wants to move in with and is using the moving out as a cover to move in with him.

5. What is this you want to do in your own house that you can’t do in your parents’ house?

This comes off as an accusation to mean that the woman wants to misbehave and she should be honest about her intentions.

Granted, parents and society have good reason to worry about women’s safety. The world wasn’t built with the best interests of women at its core. The statistics are proof that the world just isn’t safe for women. Unfortunately, disregarding the autonomy of women, their wishes and dreams in a bid to ‘protect’ them is damaging to say the least. It’s 2015! Women should be free to marry, not marry, have children, not have children, live alone, live with their boyfriend, live with friends and do anything else they so wish. An independent woman is only a threat to those who don’t want to see a woman brimming with confidence and making decisions based on what’s best for her.