Believe the Truth that You Can Not Only Live Positively But Also Thrive Unapologetically

A lot has been said about the peculiarity of Kenyans. One of the ones I have never been able to quite get over is the sweeping under the proverbial rug of things that make us uncomfortable. Issues such as infidelity, corruption are veiled under pleasant sounding euphemisms or simply discussed in hushed tones. It’s a ‘everybody knows it’s happening but nobody will actually voice it’ society. It’s made me uncomfortable and I’ve struggled with what in my mind is hypocrisy but seems to be accepted as ‘polite’ in the wider society.

I remember coming across Asunta Wagura’s column in the Daily Nation when I was in university and being immediately enthralled. Reading her words made me feel like I was committing a sin. It was the forthrightness, the humour and the honesty with which she wrote that enamored me. Here was a woman that had come out as HIV positive in a world that still even today holds so much stigma against the HIV positive, writing about her life. And not writing in a sanitized, keep you at arms length way either. She was sharing about her struggles living with HIV, her lowest points, her successes and every day doubts. I felt like she welcomed me into her home and taught me life lessons I otherwise could never have learned. I was in awe.

Her stories of how she was mistreated by those around her after they discovered her HIV status had me trembling with anger. She however, managed to rise above that and went on to do great things including founding KENWA (Kenya Network of Women with AIDS). Her stories on her HIV journey aren’t what I appreciated the most about her articles though. Her column became about more than just living positively but as a testament to what heights the human spirit can reach even in the face of difficult challenges.
You can’t live to old age if you’re HIV positive?

Asunta turned 50 last year and has been HIV positive for 25 years. You cannot have children in your 40s? Asunta had her twins at 48. Your children cannot be HIV negative if you are HIV positive? Asunta’s five boys are all HIV free. It’s not possible to discuss HIV/AIDS with your children? Asunta’s boys know her story and her 9 year old son even gives her antiretroviral drugs everyday at 8pm before he completes his homework.

Beyond HIV, Asunta has also debunked other myths as well as shed light on important issues that weren’t receiving much attention. I cried reading her article on her attempted suicides. I cheered reading her informative article on her son’s ASD (Autism Spectrum Disoder) diagnosis. Ever so brave, Asunta shared about the end of her 10 year marriage and wrote a series of articles on being a single mother, her longing to find her father in the men she’s been involved with, the fear of being labelled a ‘divorcee’ and her conversations with women facing similar challenges. Through it all, she displayed courage and an arresting honesty that made me respect her even more.

Society is filled with half-truths and outright lies. If there is no alternative to the narrative being peddled, that leaves a lot of people with no hope as they don’t see themselves represented. It also makes it difficult to have conversations as there is a knowledge gap. Asunta Wagura shows that there are many layers to a person and that a disease doesn’t define them. Personally, she proves that you can take the terrible hand life has dealt you and create your own path and be unapologetic about it.

I am grateful to the Daily Nation for giving Asunta Wagura and other contributors, the space to educate, challenge and encourage. Believe the truth.