Healthy Ways to Recover After a Breakup

Breakups suck. The end of a relationship can be full of pain and confusion. It’s normal to want the pain to stop immediately and this can lead to unhealthy decisions that will make the healing journey much more difficult. Thankfully, there are a number of healthy ways you can recover after a breakup.

Accept the reality

The hardest part of any kind of grief is accepting the reality. You’re grieving the end of a relationship and it can be incredibly painful. This was someone you cared for and the relationship provided something you could lean on in your life. Now that it’s no longer there, you can be disoriented and scared. These feelings are normal and it’s okay to fight them to try and get some relief. 

Creating narratives in our minds or obsessive thinking on how we could have fixed things or how unfairly we were treated only work to stunt our progress. Take steps to accept that the relationship is over and allow yourself room to grieve.

Limit contact

Social media has us over connected and this can be very negative after a breakup. You’ll be tempted to keep up with your ex by stalking their social media accounts and that will only keep you stuck in a negative loop. Unfollow, block, mute, delete are the actions you need to be taking. It’ll hurt at first but you’ll be thankful you did it. You don’t need to keep up with them. What you need is a clean break to heal.

If unfortunately, you work together or are frequently in the same environment, limit contact. The idea is to start closing yourself off to their power over you.

Talk to someone

Talk to your friends and family and get some emotional support from them. Feeling loved and supported and getting space to vent will help you heal faster. If you don’t have a supportive system around you or feel you need extra support, don’t be afraid to see a therapist. Breakups can be traumatic especially if things like abuse and infidelity were present. You may be dealing with more than just the end of a relationship and need help to process trauma.

Forgive yourself

Whether the breakup was because of something you did or you put up with toxic behavior that led to more pain, forgive yourself. Beating yourself up isn’t going to help. Accept the role you played and work on those things. As long as you’re self-aware and working to be a better person, you’re on the right track.

Spend alone quality time

Being in a relationship, especially a long-term one, can be a huge part of your identity. You’re going to need some time to understand yourself and figure out who you are without that relationship. Take yourself out, meditate, go on walks, journal, pick up some solo hobbies like cooking, painting, playing an instrument, and get to know yourself. It’ll be scary at first especially if you’ve never done it before, but learning to enjoy your own company will not only build your confidence, but will also help you build healthy boundaries that you can take into your next relationship.

Spending time loving and working on yourself will also help you heal completely before jumping into another relationship. A rebound relationship is generally a bad idea as you’re still too raw and will only amplify your pain when they inevitably fail. Take your time and heal before you start looking for love again.

Socialize

Make new friends. This is the time to join clubs or pick up new hobbies. Balance this with your alone time. You don’t want to socialize as a distraction as that won’t be helpful either. New friends or catching up with old friends should be to build your confidence, keep you busy doing things you enjoy, help you discover new things and bring some happiness into your life. Take trips with your friends, go dancing and join a club. Enjoy yourself.

Stay healthy

It can be tempting to spend your days sleeping, eating junk food and drinking. There’s nothing wrong with it if done in moderation. However, if you find yourself doing this for weeks on end, you may need to reach out for help. Getting through it will need you to make the effort to stay healthy. Try and maintain a sleep schedule, eat a balanced diet, reduce on intake of alcohol and other drugs, get some exercise in and maintain mindfulness. If you find you’re struggling to do this on your own, enlist the help of a friend or even a professional.

Breakups hurt and recovering can be a challenge, but by being honest, kind, gracious and loving towards yourself, you can get through it.