Thoughts on the Week #9 – Forgiveness

Things aren’t always what they seem. People aren’t always who they seem. I have been struggling with this for years and only now am I getting a handle of it. The truth is that people will disappoint us and we also will disappoint them. It’s part of life. I am learning to forgive others and more importantly, to forgive myself. I think it’s the realization that life isn’t black or white and that people aren’t good or bad. We are complex, layered beings that sometimes do things we’re not proud of.

Forgiveness is great for going on with your life without unnecessary burdens. Forgiveness however, doesn’t mean that you forget or that it doesn’t hurt anymore or that you are willing to make room for the people that have hurt you in your life. It’s important to care for yourself and to not make room in your life for people that harm you. Forgiveness doesn’t mean matryrdom. You can love someone and not have them in your life. You have a responsibility to care for yourself and if that means cutting off people and removing yourself from toxic relationships and situations, then so be it.

It can be painful to cut people off but it is necessary if we’re to live our lives to the fullest. Unhealthy relationships take their toll on us physically and psychologically and it’s important to leave them behind if we’re to grow as people. If someone cuts you off because they think you’re the toxic party, it’s okay to feel terrible about it. However, respect their decision and perhaps do some honest soul-searching and then move on. Not everyone is meant to be in your life forever. People come and go but that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. As long as you’re learning from them and/or receiving love, be grateful and enjoy it while it lasts and then be thankful for them (good or bad) after they’re gone. The only constant in life is change. Embrace it.