Thoughts on the Week #27 – I Love My Women

Growing up, I picked up on all these negative stereotypes on women. With popular sentiments like, ”Women are their own worst enemies”, ”Women are drama queens”, ”Women cannot be trusted”, it’s a wonder that I had a hard time unlearning these things. When even compliments about women are tied to putting down other women, it can be a difficult journey to leave the toxic behind and create an environment to have healthy relationships with myself as a woman and with other women.

I was once a girl that thought that boys made better friends than girls as girls were untrustworthy, jealous, mean and full of drama. Yes, I had a lot of internalized partriachy that had me looking down on women and womanhood, conveniently forgetting that I was one. Thankfully, I met some amazing women that taught me how to love myself and by extension how to love other women.

To love women is to see them as full human beings. It does not mean that I will get along with all women but I will give them the benefit of the doubt and stop working with stereotypes that were created to diminish women and their abilities.

My friendships with women are wondrous. They are also difficult. They require honesty and the vulnerability required is terrifying. We are all working to unlearn our internalized sexism and this does lead to some friction. Still, the support and love I have received from fellow women is magic. It has healed me in places I did not know I was hurting. It has given me the confidence to reach for my dreams and shed the shame and the burden of imperfection.

One of the things I am currently doing is investing in my friendships with women as much as I invest in relationships, especially romantic ones, with men. Putting in as much effort with regards to communication, quality time, favours and gifts and most importantly, forgiveness. Women will forgive a man multiple times but cut off women for one mistake. I want to invest in making my friendships with women work. Considering all the love and healing they’ve brought into my life, they’re more than worth it. I love my women.